song – candy, darling
July 31, 2007
[splashcast KLZF4478ZV HFKF3658RI]
i really like candy. a lot. junior year i lived in a house that was about a hundred feet away from a gas station (also hip hop fish and chicken) and this, combined with the atmospheric conditions within my house, lead to me eating a lot of candy. luckily this was also the year i discovered the joys of tanning and exercise, and i’ve never really had bad acne, so the effect of all the sugar on my physical appearance was hopefully minimal.
i am not really much a chocolate eater, although for the last two years i didn’t eat a proper lunch and instead subsisted very nicely on a king sized snickers bar and a gallon of water.
my favorite candies:
1. nerds (i like the green and watermelon ones the best but also the other flavors and especially the special giant rainbow box you get at the supermarket. ((i find nerds rope disgusting and wasteful of nerds in most cases except freshman year i smoked with this girl who i was obsessed with and she had nerds rope and i thought that it looked just like giant, edible d.n.a.)))
2. snickers (which i don’t even see as candy but a meal as noted above)
3. ferrero rocher (not the ones in the gold wrapper, but the white coconut ones in the clear wrapper)
4. starburst (not the regular kind but the extra tropical one. when i was in elementary school and middle school i used to use starburst as a way to pull my teeth when they got lose, i would just bite down deep into say a strawberry one and then yank the mother right out)
5. peach buds (i am against boutiquey shit in terms of food and candy but hot damn they are good. i love fruit and peach are like if you could distill and cook fruit down into these little crack rocks of flavor)
honorable mention: almond joy (but mounds is gross)
this is a song called “candy, darling .” it is written from the perspective of someone who is someone who is desiring candy and he is singing it to a wealthy and beautiful young candy baroness who holds a key to a giant room filled with every kind of candy conceivable and in the first verse he is trying, in kind of an aggressive way, to get her to give him the key to the candy room. in the second verse, he is fantasizing aloud to her about the various escapades that they would get up to in the candy room.