song – dear abby

July 31, 2007

[splashcast HEQP3657PY DLAN2268AX]

dear abby

a thing i am really enjoying is the paula abdul show. i think it’s genius because it is really awful PR (paula abdul and her antics while she is so damn high) cast as really good PR (she is an overworked human being who can’t sleep well and has health problems, which is something a lot of good american people can identify with).

i enjoy it because constantly, every episode, multiple times, always, the subject is paula’s hunger. and it’s great because even me, who thinks about celebrities as much as anything, i don’t think about celebrities eating and sleeping. i think about them going out to dinner but that’s about scandal and intrigue and making connections, not about eating. and certainly, at night celebrities party and do drugs and have crazy wild sex and then in the morning they get up but i don’t think about them sleeping, why would celebrities sleep when they could be doing celebrity things?? and i think this shows how much of our (of my) consciousness is mediated by movies, where you never see people sleep for extended periods of time except in that warhol film of course.

but in the paula abdul show, the whole plot is this deep, existential struggle to just eat some cheeze-its and hot wings and to get a couple solid hours of sleep that aren’t in the backseat of a car or in a hard chain hotel bed and it is so absurd but at the same time it is so true.

i also enjoy it because she is so damn high all the time and it’s fun to watch her be so damn high, it’s fun to watch her munch on stolen popcorn while prancing down a concrete walkway like a meerkat, scrunching her face so it shows the wrinkles she is trying to hide, it’s fun to watch her when she is in a perfume factory being a perfume designer (!!) which involves her wearing a labcoat and sticking these little pencil sized pieces of paper up to her nose and each little piece of paper has a scent on it like rose and violet and et cetera and she just starts jamming like five or six of them together and walking around with them pressed up to her nose and she’s slurring her words and hanging off of perfume technicians and kissing them on the cheek and it’s so rare on television that you can see someone enjoying being intoxicated. and don’t give me that sleep deprivation crap, because if you could get that high off of just not sleeping there would be a hell of a lot more insomniacs in this world, and it’s fun to watch. and that’s really all i need from television, is something that’s fun to watch. that’s why i don’t think ugly people should be allowed on television, unless they’re fun to watch. paula is fun to watch.

this is a song i wrote called “dear abby”. it is about advice, which i never ask for or take from nearly anybody. actually it’s not really about advice, none of my songs are about anything. i would really like to invent a language like that guy in sigur ros because i hate writing song lyrics and then i could just sing bullshit and people would think it meant something. but then that is not that different from what i do now.

when i am at home i don’t really listen to a lot of music. really all i have listened to lately is the song “strange magic” by ELO and songs in TV commercials and i guess while i clean the bathroom i listen to cody chesnutt and queen on my brother’s ipod. i wanted to make a song like “strange magic”, which i think is a really incredible song, but i don’t properly understand synthesizers or falsetto vocals yet, so this is more of a chamber pop kind of thing.

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